


Sam I Am

by compo67



Series: Chicago Verse [66]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, Bossy Dean, Dialogue-Only, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Established Relationship, Green Eggs and Ham, Humor, M/M, Post-Series, Sam Is So Done, Sexual Humor, dean is a nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:20:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3153767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/compo67/pseuds/compo67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Would Sam blow Dean on a train? Would he blow him in the rain? Or after this Wonder Woman marathon?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam I Am

"Sam."

"...huh?"

"Sammy."

"Dean, what is it? It's... ugh, one in the morning."

"Blow me."

"What? No. Go to sleep."

"There was a Wonder Woman marathon. Shit."

"You don't ask me to blow you when there's a Batman marathon."

"Well, Batman is different. Are we talking about Clooney, Keaton, or Bale? You can't mean West. No one gets a boner to Adam West."

"Dean."

"Clooney and those stupid bat nipples suck."

"Dean."

"But Wonder Woman is totally different."

"Wonder Woman is not there to give you a boner, Dean! She's there to kick your ass. Go back to sleep."

"..."

"..."

"...I get boners during Batman."

"Sleep!"

"I'm just saying! I'm not sexist. I'm an equal opportunity boner dude. Except for Adam West, George Clooney, and whenever Christian Bale does the Batman voice because who gets turned on by WHEREARETHEY?!"

"I have to be up for work in four hours. Please, just go to sleep."

"So you're not gonna blow me?"

"No!"

"Can I let off some steam here?"

"You mean can you masturbate next to me while I'm asleep? Dean, we had this conv..."

"Cool it, Mabel! I won't do anything funny. Hey, what if I just, y'know, put the tip in?"

"DEAN."

"Haha you fall for that every time."

"...I'm gonna go sleep in the office."

"Okay, suit yourself. Hey, leave your pillow, I want something nice to smell while I'm jerking."

"Ugh!"

"You're walking fast for someone with a stick up their ass!"

"Shut up, Dean!"

"Baby, just the tip! You wouldn't have even felt it!"

"Stop talking to me."

"Heh, who ever thinks that'll work? Hey, now that you're in the office, will you blow me in there?"

"I'm not listening."

"Would you blow me in the kitchen? No? How about in a box? With a fox? Sam! Sammy! How about on a train? Would you blow me in the rain? Here or there, Sammy, would you blow me anywhere?"

"..."

"...Sam?"

"..."

"Hey... Why're you standing in the doorway all menacingly?"

"Dean."

"Uh... Sam...?"

"I will blow you."

"What? You will?"

"Yes. I will blow you here. I would blow you in the car, I would blow you in the dark. I would blow you in a box. I would blow you with a fox."

"...uh."

"And I would blow you on a train. I would blow you in the rain. Dean, I would blow you..."

"Sam, you're kinda scary. Stop walking that way..."

"...here or there. I would blow you anywhere."

"Haha, very funny."

"Because I'm Sam I Am, and I'm so, so good you see. That when I blow you... I use TEETH!"

"Ahh! Sam! God dammit... Sam! You fucking Sasquatch, get off me!"

"No! I have to blow you!"

"Arghhh! Fucker!"

"Say it! Say it, Dean!"

"No! I'm gonna kick your ass...!"

"Say it!"

"...hands... off... my balls!"

"I can't hear you."

"Ughhhh... I hate you! Ow, ow! Jesus fuck... Let go!"

"Say it."

"NnnnnnnghI'm Dean Winchester and my partner is not here for the... OW... The sole purpose of gratifying my every sexual desire... There!"

"Nuh uh. One more part."

"Mother... Where's my knife? I'll cut you, let go!"

"You could make things really easy or really messy, Dean. Finish it."

"...I... I, stop squeezing! Fuck. Iwillrespectthatsomepeopleinthishousehavetogetupearly! There!"

"Good."

"You pulverized them, god damn."

"I can still use my teeth."

"No! Get away from us."

"Dean."

"No."

"You love me."

"Hey! You said you were gonna sleep in the office! And that's a cheap shot, Mabel. You think I'm gonna say I love you to the asshat who just had my balls in a death grip? Fuck you."

"Ha. You said it. I win."

"...no! You do not win. I didn't... that's not..."

"Good night, Dean."

"No! Now I'm upset! My balls hurt, asshole!"

"..."

"You're not asleep, Sam!"

"..."

"...stupid."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Go to sleep."

"My balls hurt."

"I'm sure they'll recover."

"...you know what might help..."

"DEAN."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry not sorry Dr. Seuss. XD 
> 
> My mind is weird.
> 
> obnoxious big brother Dean is my favorite.


End file.
